Beauty's Traditional Rescue

Glenda Woodrum

Princess Beauty sighed, golden hair bright in the light of the rising sun. As she stared into the distance, her eyes, blue as summer skies, dimmed with tears.

Around her, the black glass of the tower shone. Her surroundings dark and dreary, she the diamond set there to lure the young men to their death at the paws of the vile Beast that held her captive.

Across the open plain Beauty saw an armored knight riding on a giant of a horse, the point of his lance a silvered speck, like a tiny lightning flash.

Again she sighed, turned when she heard the soft tapping on her door.

"S' another one. Be ready." the deep voice growled. "An if 'e rides away, ya know what'll happen!"

"Aye, I know," Princess Beauty replied softly. "It's traditional for the Most Beautiful Princess to be Abducted by the Foul Beast."

As the day brightened she watched the knight's approach. "Of course, he'll be handsome," she whispered to herself.

They always were. Dark as raven's wing or fair as sunlight on silver, these Princes were always handsome. That was Traditional too.

The knight reached the gates, the Princess heard the sounds of a battle, the scream of an enraged horse, the roar of the Beast. . . and then silence. Her heart trembled in her breast as she waited for the Beast to return. She could hear foot falls on the stairs, the sound of a key in the lock being turned. And then the door was opened.

Before her stood, not the victorious Beast, but the knight. "I've killed the Beast. Now, as is the ancient custom of the land, you are mine."

The Princess, her captivity at an end, fainted.


When she awoke once more it was to find herself slung across the saddle of the knight's horse, his armored legs making the delicate Princess uncomfortable in the extreme. But she could see the walls of her father's castle looming before her, and the gates were opening to admit them so she made no complaint.

The knight rode his horse between the gates, straight up to the King's Castle through the throng of cheering commoners.

On the steps of the Great Hall stood her parents, a younger brother--all her older brothers being out seeking damsels to rescue as was the tradition--and several younger sisters. All were crying, laughing, happy to see that she was once more safe.

"Greetings, Brave Knight, Greetings Prince!" Her Father shouted, speaking with capital letters as only royalty could. The cheering peasants grew quiet to listen.

The Prince only bowed in the saddle, lifting the Princess to the ground so she could go to her family and exchange tearful hugs.

"Name your price for the return of my daughter," said her Father, who was of course the King of the Land.

"I wish your daughter's hand in marriage," replied the knight, his voice still muffled by the helmet.

"And so is shall be, as decreed by ancient law." He clapped his hands, "Let there be a feast andÉ."

But the knight's voice interrupted, "Ah, good King, I have no time to wait for all the niceties, I fear. You see, my, ahh, Father is ill and I must return to rule the, uh, kingdom. I have no time to waste as I have been gone for many days."

The King frowned, "Very well, then. We can'tÊexpect such an important young Prince to leave the running of a Kingdom to lackeys. You may take her now."

The Queen wailed that she was going to loose her 'baby' again, already, and without even the proper parties; the engagement, the bridal shower, the wedding and the farewell dinner. "Life is so cruel!" she lamented amid the annoyed muttering of the commoners. It was well known that when a Princess had parties largess was granted to the populace. No parties, no largess, hence the muttering of the populace.

The king took his still weeping daughter by the hand and led her back to her rescuer who lifted her up into the saddle behind him with ease. "Well, then, take care of her."

"I will," said the muffled voice. And he turned his horse around, riding for the gate at a quick trot which turned to a gallop after they were out of the castle and back on the road.

Then it dawned on the King, "Why, we never even got his name."

"Or saw his face," said the Queen.

"Maybe he's ugly," said the young boy-prince who was already a cute lad with the promise of handsomeness to come. He'd be a hansome man so long as he didn't take to the wine-cups and ale houses as so many of his generation would in years to come.


The knight rode for many hours, the Princess at his back, until they finally left her Father the King's Lands and arrived in Foreign Lands unknown to her. (She being a Princess, all lands beyond her father's domain were unknown to her and therefore Foreign. That was the way of Princesses since ancient times. Pretty, but no education to speak of.)

Finally, they came of a castle and the gates opened to allow them to enter. As it was very late, only the stable-boy was there to greet them. On seeing the Princess he smiled. "I see your Quest was successful!"

"Yes, it was," said the muffled voice.

"Good! Now maybe we can have a capture party!"

Capture? thought the Princess. Ah, well, yes, it is a Foreign Land so they will do things differently.

From the shadows came several armored guards. Curious, Princess Beauty stared at them. Something wasn't right with the way they moved, but she couldn't immediately identify what exactly made her think there was, 'Something Definitely Wrong Here.'

Then the knight removed his helm and Princess Beauty, with a gasp of, "Oh, it can't be!" fainted because now she 'Knew What Was Wrong.'

The knight sighed and knelt down beside the girl, smoothing her hair with one battle scared hand. "She'll get used to the idea once she knows me," the no longer muffled voice said. And standing up again, the Princess of the Amazons--who was simply the most stirikingly gorgeous woman present, excepting only Princess Beauty--adjusted her sword and said to the guards, "You know how easily frightened these foreign women are. Take her to my rooms and see that she is well taken care of. I'll be up later to see to our--ahem--wedding night. Mother has been nagging me to get a Foreign Princess for my Consort for months so make certain Philomena's Phallus of Perfect Princely Potence is ready. I want an heir as soon as possible."

The amazon soldiers, each one an exotic beauty in her own right--though all were powerfully muscled and missing their right breast as Tradition demanded--smiled knowingly and lifted the fair Princess from a Foreign Land gently to carry her away.

"Will we be invading her Father's Kingdom?" asked one of the remaining soldiers.

For a moment the Amazon Princess was silent then she nodded, "It is Tradition, after all."

The end
This story Previously appeared in Dragonlaugh's April 1999 issue.

To go back to the About page on Glenda's main site click here or use the menu on the left to explore more of the Desert Moon Novels site.